My dad developed some thing called DIC so they quit. The tumor is out, but DIC is serious and it has to do with all the blood loss. Please, please pray that things will get better.

Day two of dad’s surgeries. Praying this is the last of them and that everything goes well.

I visited my dad today. He’s in ICU, but he’s doing well. Still a bit loopy. Tomorrow is the removal of the tumor and repair of the sacrum.. Praying for a smooth surgery, even though I know it’s going to be a very long one.

"Your flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you."
- (via abagofbooks)

(Source: quoteessential, via 11nikole)

It is rough times like these that I need someone the most. I don’t know if I’m ever going to find someone or if I’m capable of being loved, and that’s one of the hardest things to ever endure… Not knowing.

They don’t know if they can get all of the tumor without breaking it because it has encased the sciatic nerve. If they have to break it, there’s a great chance of spreading. I’m sick with worry. Absolutely breaking out in a cold sweat sick.

They just took my dad back. Of course, I’m sobbing but I kept it together until I got back to the waiting room. A little proud of myself for that.

The first part of my dad’s surgeries is tomorrow. Please, please pray for him and us. I know I ask so much but I am truly scared. I need God now more than ever.

I’m so tired of waiting, wishing, hoping, and praying for something that may never happen. And the more I pray about it for God to take the desire away, the more persistent it is in my heart/mind. It seems incredibly cruel to have something placed on my heart to never be fulfilled. And this is just one of my many “heart aches” tonight.