One step forward and one hundred back. Back to my heart breaking. Back to the loneliness. Back to a yearning for something that everyone else seems to find except me.

My dad just walked up three stairs!

I have been taking some time out every night before bed, listening to meditation music, and praying. I have a list of what I pray for. My new thing this week is “thank God for 3 things every day.” It’s really opening my eyes and calming my heart. I’m not all the way there… but it’s a step in the right direction.

I don’t think I am meant to live this life. I don’t know how to explain what I am feeling.. But I think I am honest to God, a mistake. A real, human mistake.

I live near the Kenova Pumpkin House. I really wish I had a lovely gentleman to go with me. I want to experience that. I want to feel it in my bones. Two people falling in love. Going to see the pumpkins. It’s as simple and complicated as it sounds.

"Things that break:

flowers.
dawn.
the ocean.
our hearts.

this is how
gardens grow.
this is how
the sun blossoms.
this is how we
make it home.
this is how we
learn to love."
- Pavana पवन (via thatkindofwoman)

(Source: maza-dohta, via rejoyceforchrist)

A change is gonna come my way soon. And by change, I mean haircut.